


The Ghost of the Sunflower Field

by CaelusArcana



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 19:43:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11043009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaelusArcana/pseuds/CaelusArcana
Summary: Ivan hated Germany. He just wanted Natalya to get better so that they could go home. Life, however, had other plans for him. With a chance encounter in a sunflower field, Ivan discovers a small gem in those dark times.





	The Ghost of the Sunflower Field

Ivan hated it here.

He wanted to be at home, curled up in a warm blanket with a bowl of pechka in front of the fireplace as snow falls outside. Not here in this strange country, surrounded by strange people speaking a strange language.

“How about you go for a walk? You might feel better.”

From under his thin blanket, Ivan could barely see his elder sister, but he recognised Iryna’s voice. He knew she meant well, and considering how much she had done for the family over the last few years, Ivan found himself unable to reject her suggestion.

With a heavy sigh, Ivan climbed out of his hard bed and made his way out of the cramped apartment they had rented for the year. The sun was too bright. It was too hot. There were too many people. He wanted to go home.

Instead of exploring this town he couldn’t wait to leave, he decided to go to the hospital. All Iryna said was to take a walk, but he might as well visit Natalya too. 

Natalya, his younger sister, had contracted a strange illness with a name that the little Russian couldn’t pronounce. All he knew was that it was bad, and the closest place she could be cured was here in Germany. Iryna saved up enough to bring the three of them here, but they had only enough left to send Natalya for treatment and for Iryna and Ivan to barely survive.

Unfortunately, Ivan had not remembered how to get to the hospital. All the previous times, Iryna had been there to guide him. He stumbled in the general direction, but as he had not bothered to read the books Iryna had gotten him, the street signs were an utter mystery to him. 

In the end, Ivan vaguely recognised the route to the hospital and followed it. However, instead of the depressingly white building his younger sister was staying at, Ivan found...

A field filled with bright yellow flowers. The sunlight radiated off the petals, illuminating the surrounding area. It was the brightest thing Ivan had seen since for a long time.

It was as beautiful as heaven.

Ivan felt a surge of joy as he identified the flowers.

Of course, he knew instantly what kind of place he had found. It was one of his favourite kinds of places.

It was a sunflower field.

\- 

Ivan loved sunflowers. 

Ever since he was a child, he had always adored the bright yellow flowers. For the first time since he arrived in Germany, Ivan felt happy.

The young Russian ran forward, laughing gleefully. Some of the flowers were even taller than he was! He danced and twirled through the stalks. He wanted to stay there forever. Nothing could disturb him there.

And then he tripped over the body.

“Ow!”

At the same time, two voices were heard grunting in pain. One, Ivan recognised as his own. The other probably came from the person he had fallen on. Ivan quickly got up and looked into the eyes of the other person, a boy around his age.

The boy was pale. Too pale. His hair was as white as his skin. In fact, the only colour the boy had was his blood-red eyes.

“Um, hi?” Fluent German flowed from the boy’s lips. Ivan suddenly came to the realisation that he had still been on top of the boy. He hastily moved into a sitting position.

“Ah, s-sorry.” Ivan assumed that the boy had been expecting him to be German, as his eyes widened upon hearing Russian. The boy got off the ground and sat cross-legged in front of Ivan.

“Oh! So you’re Russian? Cool! You’re literally the first actual Russian person I’ve met! Nice to meet you, I’m Gilbert!” This time, the words were in Russian. Not perfect Russian, but it was understandable. Ivan was too shocked to respond immediately.

“Hello? Earth to Russian!” The grinning boy waved his hand in front of Ivan who, as his brain had yet to start working again, grabbed it and shook it hard, practically throwing the boy up and down.

“N-nice to meet you too. Ah! Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. My name is Ivan. You... know Russian?” Ivan wasn’t sure on how to proceed. On one hand, he wanted to talk to this boy more. If he could make a friend, maybe the next few months wouldn’t be so bad. On the other hand, for all he knew this kid could only know those few phrases in Russian. He was definitely German, after all.

“Yep! Learnt it for a few years! Back when I was alive, that is.”

What. Back when he was alive?!

-

Ivan hated diseases.

His sister was in pain, he could tell, even if she acted like she was fine. It hurt Ivan to see Natalya suffer like that. He could never spend more than half an hour in the hospital room. While Iryna stayed behind to talk to Natalya, Ivan would wait outside. 

Likewise, Ivan could tell that Gilbert was not fine with being dead, even though he was always smiling. Gilbert, or Gil as he insisted Ivan call him, had died from an illness that Ivan had never heard of.

Ivan had never grown so attached to someone so quickly. Then again, most kept away from him. Even back at home, his classmates and neighbours were all scared of him for some reason. They said that he had a ‘terrifying aura’. They’d even turn and run away from him when they saw him.

Gilbert was different. Maybe it was because he was already dead, so he had nothing to fear, but he accepted Ivan as a friend almost instantly.

Ivan felt himself grow closer to Gil with every smile the pale ghost gave him. He may be a ghost, but Ivan thought that he was warmer than most humans.

They spent hours together in the field, chatting about their lives and just playing together. Ivan learnt that Gil had a younger brother named Ludwig, who was pretty quiet, unlike his talkative elder brother. Gil had a normal life with his family until he had fallen sick. From then on, it was just moving to and from the hospital until his final day.

“Hey, Ivan?”

“Yes, Gilber- I mean, Gil?”

“Will you come back tomorrow? And the day after that? Will you come see me every day? It’s... lonely, being on my own.”

Ivan felt himself blushing. This was the first time someone actively wanted his company. His attention. Ivan tried to hide his cheeks and gave Gil what he hoped was a bright smile.

“Of course! After all, we’re friends! I’ll come back every day!”

Gil stretched out his pinky finger. Hesitantly, Ivan wrapped his own around the pale boy’s. It was cold. Still, they made that promise.

It wasn't until he got back home that Ivan started to wonder: Could a human touch a ghost?

-

Ivan hated the rain.

He glared at the water droplets running down the closed window as he muttered curses under his breath. Iryna had banned him from running out of the house because of the heavy rain. He wanted to see Gil! He made a promise! But he never got around to telling Iryna about Gil, considering he was a ghost and all, so he couldn’t come up with an excuse to leave the house.

It’s not like she was even in the house anyways! She had gone to the hospital to be with Natalya. Natalya had always been scared of thunderstorms. He could sneak out if he wanted to! 

But... he can’t betray Iryna’s trust like that. She’s done so much for him, he can’t treat her like that. So all Ivan could do was curse the heavens for the rain.

Ding dong!

Was Iryna back already? That was fast! Ivan hurriedly ran to open the door for his sister, not wanting her to wait out in the rain.

The only issue here was, it wasn’t Iryna. Instead, Gil stood at Ivan’s doorstep, shaking from the cold.

“Gil?! What are you doing here?!”

“He... hey... Ivan... Mind... getting me... a towel...?”

Ivan hurriedly brought out towels for Gil. He brought the shivering ghost to the front of the fireplace and prepared a mug of hot chocolate. At that moment, another question quickly dashed through his mind: Can ghosts get cold? 

He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. He didn’t want to remind Gil of his death.

After Gil was warmed up, they spent the next few hours playing games, chatting like how they normally do, and generally spending time together.

“Hey, Gil? Why did you come here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Gilbert stood up and struck a pose that Ivan could only describe as a poor imitation of royalty.

“The awesome me was kind enough to grace thee with mine own presence!” Ivan could only clamp his hand over his mouth to contain his laughter.

Gil left before Iryna came home. That night, Ivan dreamt of his new best friend.

-

Ivan hated doctors.

All they did was spout prophecies of death and pretend to know how to cure you.

Once again, the doctors declared Natalya’s condition ‘not hopeful’. That’s all they said! They’re supposed to help her! They’re supposed to bring hope to ‘not hopeful’!

Money was running low. Iryna was getting worried. Natalya was starting to give up. And Ivan hated it all.

On days like this, he found himself running to the familiar sunflower field. He had to talk to someone.

“Gil! Hey, Gil! ... Gilbert?”

Ivan searched and searched, but he couldn’t find his best friend.

He needed someone to talk to. He needed Gilbert right now. What if he had been exorcised?! What if his soul had already moved on?!

As Ivan’s desperation started to increase, he found himself curling into a ball in the middle of the field. Warm tears fell from his eyes. He wanted to see Gilbert again.

“... Ivan?”

At the sound of the familiar voice, Ivan practically jumped up and tackled Gil. He started blubbering, he wasn’t even sure himself what he was talking about, so the confusion for Gilbert must have been tenfold.

“Woah, woah. Are you crying? What happened? Come on, calm down and talk to me properly.” Gilbert gently pried Ivan off him and patted the taller boy’s head.

Just like always, Ivan told Gilbert all about his problems. All about Natalya’s current condition, all about his hatred for the doctors, and all about how scared he was over the thought that Gilbert had left.

Gilbert wiped away a few of Ivan’s stray tears and flashed him his signature grin.

“Didn’t I tell you? I’m a ghost bound to this town! I’m not going anywhere!”

Hearing those words, Ivan couldn’t help but feel warm. He had a friend who he could count on. He had a friend who would stay by his side.

Was how it felt to have a soulmate?

-

Ivan hated shocks.

Natalya was gone. Just like that. Iryna and Ivan had made their way to the hospital, only to be informed that their sister had left them in the middle of the night. Needless to say, neither of them took it well.

In Ivan’s opinion, Iryna was very strong. She still managed to force a smile and thank the doctors for their hard work, even though her fists were clenched so tightly that she was shaking.

Ivan didn’t forget his promise to Gil. He wanted to go to the sunflower field too. He wanted to break down and cry and have his best friend comfort him. But, who would comfort Iryna then? He couldn’t leave his sister.

So, when Iryna called Ivan to return home with her, he gritted his teeth, whispered an apology to Gil (he’s a ghost, right? He’d hear it, right?) and ran after his sister.

Now that Natalya was gone, would they be returning to Russia? Ivan didn’t want to leave Gil, but he certainly wanted to get out of this godforsaken country that bled his family dry and killed his sister.

Iryna was silent on the entire walk home. It was only when she had closed the door to their apartment that she spoke to Ivan.

“Vanya, I think we should go back home. You can go back to school, I’ll look for a job. We’ll... we’ll move on. I’ll make arrangements for Natalya to be buried back home, with Mother and Father. What do you think? It’s... it’s just the two of us now, so I want to know your opinion.”

Ivan knew he should agree with his sister. After all, she was older and wiser. What did he know? He wasn’t even a teenager. But, for some reason, his words got stuck in his throat. 

“Can I... just stay here for a few more days? I want to say goodbye to someone...”

Ivan could see the surprise in Iryna’s eyes. He never told her about Gil. Instead of probing, though, Iryna simply gave Ivan her gentle smile.

“That’s fine. I’ll make arrangements for us to return back home next week. Is that enough time for you?”

Ivan felt his lips curve upwards. For the first time in the last few months, he tackled his sister into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Iryna!”

-

Ivan hated goodbyes.

Maybe Gil could come along with him to Russia? No, that wouldn’t work. Gil already told him that if a ghost left the town they died in, they’d disappear.

He couldn’t find Gil, though he had searched the whole field twice. Ivan chose to lie down amongst the flowers, attempting to craft his goodbye ‘speech’ to Gil. 

Slowly, Ivan felt himself drifting into the land of dreams. The sky was clear and beautiful, while the sunflowers were just so soft and pretty. Half-asleep, he reached his hand out to touch the sky.

And then he felt someone trip over him.

“Ow!”

At the same time, two voices were heard grunting in pain. One, Ivan recognised as his own. The other probably came from the person who had fallen on him. Ivan found himself staring into the eyes of the other person, a boy younger than him.

The boy was fair. Not as pale as Gilbert. His hair was golden like the sun. On the other hand, his eyes were as blue as the sky.

“Are... are you... Ivan?”

The boy’s Russian was terrible. His pronunciation, sentence structure, everything was butchered, and it was just a simple sentence. At the very least, Ivan could somewhat comprehend it.

“Yes...”

The boy attempted to construct a sentence, but after a few seconds of struggling, he gave up and simply gestured for Ivan to follow him before walking off.

Ivan was unsure of what to do. On one hand, he wanted to stay in the sunflower field and wait for Gil. On the other hand, he was curious about what the young boy wanted to show him.

Moreover, Ivan couldn’t shake the weird feeling in him. He felt like something bad would happen if he didn’t go. Maybe it’s because he met this boy in almost the exact same way he met Gil? Maybe it was the blank expression on the boy’s face? Maybe... it was the suspicions about Gilbert that he’d always shoved to the back of his mind.

He decided to run after the blond boy.

-

Ivan hated the hospital.

When he entered the ward behind the blond boy, Ivan already knew what he was going to see, although he didn’t want to believe it. 

The blond boy went and stood next to the two adults in the room, a man and a woman. They looked similar to the blond boy. The blond boy spoke in fluent German to them. Ivan didn’t understand what was going on, but the woman gestured to the figure lying on the hospital bed.

It was Gilbert.

The pale boy seemed even paler, as if he was fading away. Maybe he was. If the multiple tubes connected to him and the expressions on what Ivan could only assume to be Gil’s family members’ faces said anything, Gilbert was probably nearing the end.

Ivan couldn’t help but wonder if that was how Natalya looked like. Maybe that’s why she left alone. It certainly hurt Ivan more to see Gil there, alive yet not.

As if making way for a celebrity, the two adults parted, creating a path for Ivan. His feet felt like lead, yet his body still made its way to the side of the bed. Ivan had never tried it before, since he was afraid of what would happen if he touched a ghost for too long, but he gently wrapped his hands around Gil’s right one.

It was cold. So cold.

Perhaps it was the sudden warmth, but Gil’s eyes slowly opened.

“Ngh... Who... Ah... Ivan...?”

He was so weak, he couldn’t even lift himself up. He was dying.

“Gil... I’m here. Did you call for me?”

Gil’s laugh, which used to always brighten up Ivan’s day, only dampened the atmosphere. You couldn’t even call it a laugh, it was a mix between a cough and a groan.

“Of course not. Why would I want you to see me like this? I bet it was Luddy.”

Gilbert nodded in the direction of the blond boy. Ivan assumed ‘Luddy’ was Gil’s younger brother.

Gilbert turned to his family and spoke to them in German. The adults looked at each other before nodding and leaving the room, along with the blond boy. 

-

Ivan hated liars.

“Why did you tell me you were a ghost?”

Gilbert hung his head, refusing to look Ivan in the eye. Although Ivan was unhappy, it hurt him more to see Gilbert like this. He grasped onto Gil’s hand and squeezed, hoping that it conveyed to Gil that he wasn’t angry, just curious.

“Well, I thought... I thought that if I told you that, you’d leave the field. And when you kept on coming back, I kept up the lie because... I thought that it’d be less painful for you when I go.”

Ivan was unable to blame Gilbert for lying to him.

“Anyways, you know now. I... I’m sorry, Ivan. This is a bit selfish, but could you stay here for a while? I don't have that much time left. Luddy, Mom and Dad have accepted that I’m gonna go soon. But... I just want to spend time with you, Ivan.”

Gil really didn’t have that much time left. Just speaking for less than a minute caused him to become so breathless that he had to lean on Ivan for support.

Ivan didn’t know what to do, so he did what he felt was right. He wrapped his arms around the frail, pale boy and held him close. If Gilbert only had a little time left, he wanted him to suffer as little as possible during that time.

Ivan thought back on the days he had spent with Gil. Their first meeting at the sunflower field, the promise they made, that rainy day, the day he cried in front of Gil, and all the other beautiful memories they had made together.

Gilbert wasn’t just his first friend, he was his best friend. Even though they had only known each other for a few weeks, Gilbert was the best friend Ivan could ever ask for.

Ivan barely noticed Gil was trying to speak. It was Gil’s quickened breathing that tipped him off. He couldn’t hear him clearly, even though they were so close.

“Ivan... I love you.”

That’s right, Gilbert loved him. He was his friend.

“I love you too, Gil.”

Yes, they loved each other. 

Friends cry together, friends laugh together, friends support each other, friends love each other.

-

Ivan hated death.

He didn’t panic. He didn’t scream. Ivan expected to be devastated, but instead, he was calm.

He gently lifted Gilbert’s head from his shoulder, laid it to rest on the pillow and brushed his fringe away. Gilbert looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping.

Ivan remembered what Iryna always did for him and Natalya when they went to sleep. He leant forward and kissed Gilbert’s forehead.

“Goodnight, Gilbert. Thank you.”

When he left the room, Gilbert’s family gave him worried looks. Perhaps it was the blank expression on his face, but the mother let out a cry and dashed into the room, followed by her husband and the blond boy. He could hear their anguished screams, but he did not understand a word they spoke.

He was ignored by the nurses and doctors rushing towards the room as he slowly made his way out of the hospital.

Ivan made it to the entrance of the hospital. If he walked down the road, he would be on his way home. He would walk through the door, greet Iryna, and start packing his things to return back to Russia.

But he didn’t. He went round the corner of the hospital building, towards the familiar field of yellow. The field of happiness. The field of friendship. He’d feel better there, right?

Ivan broke into a run upon seeing the field. He collapsed onto the sunflowers, breathing in the scent of the flowers. Soon, he’d feel better. He’d feel better.

Why did he feel so empty? He didn’t feel sad, or angry, or happy. He didn’t feel anything at all.

He used to be so happy visiting this field. What happened? Why did he lose the happiness he felt before?

That’s right, it wasn’t the field that made him happy. It was spending time with his best friend. It was laughing, playing around with no restraints. It was Gilbert.

Tears slowly started to spill and fall from his eyes.

Gilbert...

Gilbert...!

-

Ivan hated funerals.

That’s why he made it a point to never see the blond boy or his family again. He won’t go to Gilbert’s funeral. He was heading home, to Russia.

After Ivan got back home that day, he didn’t say a word to Iryna. He knew she was worried, but she was kind enough not to probe. He didn’t think he could handle telling Iryna about Gilbert.

Moreover, telling Iryna about Gilbert would make his friend more... real. It was selfish, but Ivan wanted to keep Gilbert as his secret, special friend.

Did that make him a bad person?

Mindlessly, Ivan packed his bag. He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular. Not about home, not about the trip, not about Natalya, not about Iryna, not about Gilbert.

Ah... That’s right, Natalya. Gilbert’s death came so suddenly Ivan didn’t even have time to properly mourn for Natalya before he met the blond boy. He was a terrible brother. Back in Russia, he’ll make sure that her memory stays with him forever, somehow or another.

“Ivan, it’s time to go!”

He grabbed his bag and made his way to the door. For the first time since he started to stay there, he took a long, hard look at the house. 

Goodbye, house.

Once he walked out of the house, he instinctively looked towards the familiar path to that cursed building. He would never go there again.

Goodbye, hospital.

They climbed into the crowded bus, with people yelling incomprehensible words back and forth. Ivan grabbed Iryna’s hand and shut his eyes, hoping that they’d reach their stop soon.

Goodbye, Germans.

Soon, the train station was in sight. The train would bring them to the Russian border, where they could finally enter their homeland again. It’ll bring them away from this place.

Goodbye, Germany.

-

Ivan loved ‘home’.

He’d be home soon, in Russia with Iryna. But, was that really home?

Even Ivan knew, he had already made his home somewhere else. His ‘home’ was Gilbert.

And Gilbert was gone.

The train station was cold and empty. In fact, it seemed that Iryna and Ivan were the only ones there. He knew that the timing they chose was an uncommon one, but the emptiness of the station just amplified the one in his heart.

Iryna left him to speak with a worker for a few moments. When she came back, she gave him a warm smile and took his hand. It wasn’t until Ivan felt Iryna’s hand did he realise how cold his were.

But Gilbert’s were colder.

Ah, in the end, he couldn’t get his best friend off his mind. His own ghost friend.

Ivan couldn’t help but wonder if Gilbert’s ghost was with him. The real one. Then again, why would he haunt Ivan, the boy he had known for only a few months? It’s more likely he’d go and haunt his family.

Ivan slid into his seat, only for something bright and yellow to catch his attention.

Before him, on the table separating him from his sister, was a vase with a single sunflower. Was it fate? He couldn’t hear what Iryna was saying, all he was focused on was the flower.

Two petals wouldn’t hurt, right?

One, two. Gently, he removed the two bright yellow petals from the flower. He could feel Iryna’s questioning gaze, but didn’t say a word as he pushed the train window open.

Ivan leant out of the window and scattered the petals. They danced in the wind, like a pair of lovers.

“Goodbye, Gilbert.”

The pale boy sitting next to Ivan smiled. He met Iryna’s wide eyes and put a finger to his lips, shaking his head. It was better for Ivan this way. Once he let go, everything would really be over.

“Thank you, Ivan.”


End file.
